Finding it hard to regress since turning 18 please help!

Hi been a while since i posted on this reddit account haha, and ill explain why and seek advice in this post.

since the start of this year, and turning 18 in july ive found it really hard to regress, as in i havent regressed once. i dont know why because it used to happen involuntarily alot.

Ive been under alot of stress this year (grandfather dying, relationship issues, work, school and just overall depression) And i feel instead of regressing like id usually do, i just have meltdowns and panic attacks. Had my worst panic attack the othernight and been so mentally drained since feeling like I need to regress but I just cant, or it doesnt feel authentic. I dont like being 18. I dont like growing up. I hate it so much and its been one of the main factors of my stress. i think i just subconsciously might feel ashamed of regressing now? which is so saddening because it used to be my favourite thing and id always feel so safe :(

basically just wondering if any other littles around my age felt like this and have overcame it, and could maybe give tips to get back into my little side ❤️