MMFB: Unless I call it off, my cat will be euthanized tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon.

I have a cat, Munchie, who is around 15 years old. He, along with three other cats, was adopted by me when my mother passed away back in 2017. They are/were all around the same age although I admit I don’t know exactly how old any of them are/were. Two of them passed away, one of natural causes about three years ago and another of an unexpected kidney failure about two years ago. The fourth cat continues to live happy and healthy in my home.

About a month ago Munchie’s right cheek started to swell, and at about the same time his food intake dropped. Within a couple of days drops of blood started to appear at his mouth. I thought it was an abscess so I took him to the vet where they did an oral exam. It wasn’t an abscess so they scheduled him for surgery. By the time surgery happened (about a week later) the swelling had doubled. Partway through the surgery the vet calls me and tells me that it’s cancer. Removing the growth would basically mean removing his entire right cheek and a good chunk of his upper jaw. It was, in effect, inoperable. I was asked if I wanted to euthanize; I said no. Other than his eating habits Munchie was otherwise being a normal cat. They prescribed a pain killer and I took him home.

That was about three weeks ago. For the two weeks following the swelling got bigger and bigger, ultimately reaching the size of a ping pong ball. Bleeding became frequent, then constant, then severe. I would wake up in the morning and there would be half dollar-sized splats of blood and bits of tissue on the floor, and drips/smears everywhere. His cheek was stretched with the fur ripped out through his constant pawing. His right eye was constantly oozing vaguely brown tears. It was clearly difficult for him to walk. He stopped grooming himself; I took to wiping him down with a washcloth and a bowl of warm water with a drop of pet shampoo and then brushing him, which he enjoyed. He stopped eating anything except those purée treats.

About a week ago I woke up to what looked like a slaughterhouse on the floor: blood everywhere. The growth in his cheek had mostly disappeared, though his cheek still looked like hamburger and his eye was still oozing. He almost entirely lost the ability to walk; he’d move maybe six feet (staggering and clearly off balance) before basically falling to his side. I made the decision for an at-home euthanization for Thursday afternoon.

Here’s my issue.

Clearly he is not comfortable. Whatever cancer he has cannot be corrected. His movement is limited. The growth in his cheek is still there and causes him issues, especially when he tries to eat solid food. Blood still drips from his mouth when he eats solid foods.

However, since the thing in his cheek exploded he has been showing many signs of improvement. He gets tired easily but he walks around more with minimal stagger. He jumps up and down from the living room window. He eats more — not a lot, but more than he did three weeks ago. He drinks about a cup of water every day. He is meowing and purring again, and this evening he was groom himself for the first time in about a month. His cheek, while still injured, is no longer swollen at all and has noticeably healed and color is returning to it where it was once pale gray.

I am now second guessing my decision. Some minor internet searching suggests that the growth in his cheek may have been filled with pus which flooded his system, causing many of his symptoms, and when it ruptured it provided some much-needed relief to his immune system so he’s bouncing back a bit.

I know that his cancer is still there. I know that his symptoms may return at any time. But I feel like he’s fighting, at least for a little while longer, and I’d hate to deprive him of his life if there’s even a small chance that he could live at least a semi-normal life. I don’t have any issues with long-term care; I can continue to bathe him and provide hospice care indefinitely, at least until he’s ready to check out in his own time, on his own terms. But I also know I can hardly be objective about this.

I don’t know what is the right thing to do.