'An enterprising man'
When a freak snow falls in the Sahara, Joe builds a ski resort. He builds a lodge, imports a conifer forest, hires Austrian barmaids dressed in traditional clothes. But because there are no mountains there's no downhill skiing.
3:00: He adds other attractions: a ferris wheel, a miniature golf course, a petting zoo, a food court, a multiplex movie theater, an opera house, a replica of the city of Venice, a soccer stadium, to no avail.
3:40: He alters the axis of the earth with a nuclear explosion, which doesn't help.
4:40: He imports a mountain from Czechoslovakia, but the normal desert climate returns, melting the snow, drying out the forest, starting a fire which burns down the resort.
7:30: Joe buys a deserted island in the Caribbean, builds a ski resort using artificial snow, as well as a beach resort, with luxury hotels, condominiums, a casino, etc. It becomes the most popular island in the Caribbean. Joe becomes a multi-billionaire.
11:00: Joe identifies with the common workers of his island, leads a revolt that destroys the resort.
15:20: Joe describes his address at the Harvard Business School: how well-appointed he was, how passionately the audience reacted.
22:10: Joe develops a computer chip to be implanted in the brain which makes the recipient know everything. This doesn't work out because recipients use their knowledge in trivial ways instead of to create new knowledge, which he analogizes to the difference between someone who inherits a fortune instead of making one. He tries to instill respect for the knowledge with religious ceremonies surrounding the implant. Despite its popularity, public condemnation drives it into bankruptcy.
32:40: Joe hires Nobel-prize-winning scientists and Silicon Valley engineers to invent teleportation. The first customer gets reconstructed improperly, so that business fails.
37:30: Joe builds a city undersea, with a huge industrial park, but it collapses.
46:20: Joe hires scientists to invent powerful aerosol aphrodisiacs to use as a biological weapon. He tests this on a Marine corps that invades a local town to attack its women.
49:30: Joe tells us not to be discouraged, delivers a paean to the success you will eventually have if you have faith in yourself.
Posted Nov 2, 2023, 1:23 AM UTC