He was married, but I am the evil and crazy one according to him.

Just a little background: he has been charged with domestic battery, but he knew the judge and got the charges dropped. He is a liar, he steals, he cheats. He has a very good upstanding job, but he does other stupid things for money. He has cheated on his wife in the past. He blames everything on his ex-wife and mom being crazy, everyone else is crazy, no chance it could be him that is the common denominator in his problems.

The guy I have been seeing/talking to/sort of dating (32/M) and I (30/F) worked together, but he worked in another city for the same company. I left the company and shortly after he texted to see how I was doing and it turned into a major crush. We started talking everyday and about personal things. This all started around May 2021.

He drops the bomb he is in the middle of a divorce and she is moving out in two months because she is leaving the city/state. Which made me uncomfortable, and I thought it was shady, but he assured me it was done it was just so she didn’t need to pay for two months of rent. I should have listened to my better judgement back then.

Then things just started to get tumultuous between us. He has SERIOUS anger management issues and would lose it on me, especially before something important, like before a huge law school exam. Or the day before Christmas. He would say despicable, hateful, emotionally and verbally abuse things to me and then apologize. Over the last 2.5 years he has called me obese, fat, ugly, stupid, and much worose. He said he shouldn’t have a lost it, over and over and things never changed. He would gaslight me and tell me I was the one causing the fights and just fully out of touch of what was really happening, But I loved him, so I dealt with it way too long. Eventually he ended it, I believe, after insane insults, borderline threats.

Shortly after, I saw pictures of he and his supposed ex-wife at her LLM graduation. That was probably around May of this year. By June, he called me and was crying and apologizing and I unloaded on him and told him how badly he hurt me and I just lost all trust and he was saying, we really are split up this time. She is filing this week. Which she did and within three weeks they were divorced.

But he is as unhinged as ever. He insults me, makes jokes at my expense and sexist jokes (I am not uptight and can laugh at myself, but nonstop gets old). I told him this bothers me. We basically just block each other, fight, I take emotional abuse, he doesn’t listen, can’t take no for an answer. All he cares about his house, his car. He tells me I don’t care about him. I was asleep one night and he was in the ER for a fucking panic attack and he continually says “I left him for dead.” He calls me a narcissist, which is his way of deflecting from the fact he has every single symptom of clinical narcissism.

He is pissed I don’t want to spend the weekend with him after all this fighting. So now he says he’s done for good and he’s taking stripper he met online to Puerto Rico. Or he is lying about that too.

To make matters worse, I just had a cancer scare this past week. I have been having severe health problems and haven’t received a diagnosis and he knows I have been having a really hard time with it physically and mentally. I even went to another city to see a specialist this weekend, but he said I should have still made a meeting happen.

I keep telling him I do care about him, despite what he says, but all these things that have happened in the past have just chiseled away at my love for him and I think it’s a very unhealthy relationship for both of us and we deserve to be happy and he just.

Because he is not mentally stable, I am scared he is going to try to ruin my career over this. It keeps me up at night. I just don’t knowo what to do. I need support, I need help, but I am a very private person and it’s humiliating that Il let this happen to me. I usually date very kind, smart, gentlemen who respect women. I have never been with someone like him.