Not knowing who I am

Bare with me here. I don’t post on reddit much, just usually read other peoples posts. But I have been feeling so lost. I feel like I cant commit myself to anything or anyone or stick to one thing that I actually want. I don’t even know what I want, I know what I like and what I don’t like but I feel like I don’t truly know myself. I feel like so disconnected from the world even though I am social I do go out and have a good time with people but as far as establishing a bond with someone, it’s not there. I feel like my brain can’t retain information, I easily lose track of everything going on. I’m alll over the place. Scatterbrained (as you can probably tell in this post) I want to start making a better life for myself & be consistent with something, anything. But it never happens. I’m very self aware and aware of my surroundings / other people that it sometimes puts me in isolation. I can’t tell any of my friends / family about this because they don’t relate and when I try to it just makes me feel even more alone. (My lover used to say stuff like this and I didn’t understand, I used to be so happy and I had ambition & felt like I was going to find my place in this world but then he passed away and now I relate to his feelings) I want everything but I want nothing at the same time. I just feel like a blebb in this world & everyones living their lives while im just trying to figure it out. But then I remind myself that no one really knows what they’re doing they’re just doing it and going with it and making the best out of it. I don’t know where to begin or what to do to get myself together.

Does anyone else relate to this? Feeling out of place in this world & not knowing how to go about it. Idk :( this feeling resides in me heavily