Tired of being tired...

Genuinely becoming suicidal more and more each day. My husband is not someone I would have wanted to spend my days with. There's factors preventing me from just up and divorcing him and sharing custody though so I'm essentially stuck with him. My kids also both have disabilities and I f*cking love them so much but it hurts that I won't ever have enough wealth to give them the best care they can possibly receive. I'm about to start depression medication in a couple of days because of how tiresome my life has become. I really don't know how well it's going to work but I have to try for myself and my family. I wish therapy and counseling didn't cost so much or that you could do online services with medicaid but this country doesn't value it's people enough to ensure everyone has the ability to see someone for their mental health regardless of income or any other factors. I just wish things would be okay for once...