Just venting

Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I had been better. If I were smarter, and knew exactly what to say to have made her feel more comfortable. If I had been funnier, or more romantic. If I had been more present. If I had quit my job and closed the long distance. If I had more money to provide. If I understood her better, so I could be more loving. I wish I could have done so much more. It’s crazy how much you can love someone and not be able to express it. I know it’s over, but I never want to be in love again. Breaking up is ducking terrible. Especially when I thought I was giving it my best. I hope all of you are doing ok out there. If you feel the same way I do, all I can say is “yeah, this shit sucks ass”.