Am I the problem or did I dodged a bullet here? 24M and 22F

TL;DR! 2 month relationship where I thought I was communicating and being honest in my relationship and I definitely could've handled things better at certain points but yeah I don't know. Things went from 0-100 then 100-0. I still decided to see a psych post break up but I still recognise that I need to manage work / personal life better plus my anxieties.

I am 24M and ex girlfriend was 22F

Before dating her I knew I was forgetting things and really didn't impact things because I was my own and I knew I just needed a holiday as I was burnt out.

A few weeks into our relationship we were at my parents house and my dad was talking to her about her father who passed away in a workplace accident.

I knew this was the case but for whatever the reason, in the moment I went blank and said I thought he died of heart attack (he had one few years prior to his death). Later that night she texted me to say I cut her because I forgot such a important thing to her and she doesn't talk about it to just anyone. I apologized and I felt really bad because I really don't know what happened, I had been in various conversations when with her mum around it and it just didn't connect in the moment. I said I think I'm burnt out and I really don't want to be hurting her and I'll take a week off work to try reset.

We then had an argument in person a few weeks later. I was tired from work and I was cooking dinner and idk I was just quiet, she was on her phone , she smiled at me and hadn't smiled back so she stayed on her phone. She said do you want a hug and I said why but then straight away I just went and hugged her because idk why I said that. We sat down to eat and she said she is just gonna go home to see her mum because she hasn't seen her and because she didn't think I was okay. I just said I want her to stay, I want to be with her. It escalated because I said idk I'm tired from work, you were just on your phone and she said "youre deflecting just like my exes" and I said well I don't like being compared to your exes. She walked away and went home, I tried to talk to her but she said she was to angry. We talked about it the next day and it became about how she feels I don't listen. There was a circumstance that night before dinner, we went to get cash out , she was talking about how someone at work made her feel special and really understood her and during this conversation I pointed out an ATM. She got cash out and because I didn't go back to the conversation it means I don't care and I don't listen. I said she needs to call me out on that and I'm sorry because I didn't mean to. She said she doesn't want to call me out on it nor should she have to because if I cared/listened i wouldve known... I also mentioned on this conversation that her walking away from me and everything brought up a lot of anxieties for me, I explained why, and I said hopefully the week off will help me but I'll see a psych if I feel I need something more.

A few days went by, we were okay. She was a bit stand offish and I brought up that I was feeling anxious because of that, are we all good sort of thing. Talked about it briefly and that was it.

Another day went by. She is a psych nurse. She messaged me saying her day was fucked straight after her shift ended. I messaged soon after saying "Call? I am driving. Otherwise all good if not up for it". 5 minutes later I was like screw it I will call. She didn't answer. An hour and half went by and I message again to ensure she is okay. She says "sorry I vented to mum". We talked about her day then she was going to bed. A few minutes later she said she hoped my day went okay too. I said it was stressful with work and grandma isn't doing too well and that it's why I kinda called too. She started off being like sorry she was elevated and everything but then went on about how she can't read my mind and I need to tell her these things, and its me having "expectations without communication" and my message insinuated i would message anyway. It went around in circles despite me agreeing that I should've said and I shouldn't have expected a call back and I was getting "I can't be fucked with this". I asked did she want to end it due to saying this multiple times and she blew up because I said that; "that pushes me away".

Pretty much got to the point where she said she wanted space, I said I understand and to reach out when ready.

The next day she still messaged me good morning, which threw me off, and I then found out grandma died. I told her and she said she was sorry to hear that. Asked how I was later in the day and that was it.

I asked to see her so we could talk over the next few days but instead she went out with mates to drink because they knew she wasn't doing too well.

I said at some stage that we should be able to put trivial things aside when things like this happen but she said the fight we had wasn't trivial to her. In the context of death, I see fights as trivial but maybe I'm wrong here?

She saw me 4 days after grandma died and we talked about things. Wouldn't really let me close to her or anything. It was mainly how about she doesn't feel like I listen and how she needs to be able to come home from vent so she can't see me after work anymore because she didn't feel like I listen or understand. It's because I ask questions that it feels like to her that I don't listen but I was asking questions because I care alot and I want to understand her job. There have been times I have forgotten things and I have apologised and I was honest and just said I am really trying and truly am listening, i am burnt out from work (3 senior management roles not filled for months and months) and I am adapting to having someone significant in my life for the first time in 4 years, I.e. my last relationship was toxic (manipulative and cheating) and around when i lost my best mate to suicide, and my grandpa . All I have done is work the last 4 years, went from earning 50k a year to 130k a year. I had bought myself a house and got myself a nice car. Reiterated how much I care and all that.

Then we see eachother on the Monday, and it is like talking to a brickwall, won't look at me or talk to me.

I ask what's up and she just says "this is what pushes me away", "stop asking". Before I dropped her home, I let her know it's hurting me how she is being and everything and she said "I'm not feeling it" and I said "so you don't love me anymore" and again she said "that's what pushes me away. She said I didn't give her space and I said "Okay I won't talk to you" and she said "that's gaslighting". Kept saying she just wants to go to sleep and go inside.

She texts me later saying sorry that she is hurting me. I say im sorry i brought things up but I think we shouldnt see eachother for a bit because it's making me anxious that she is acting so differently and pulling away and I am acting differently because of it , I.e. asking questions. She blew up and said that she's sick of me using anxiety as an excuse for how I treat her, and like the word means nothing. Goes on about how she deals with patients in a disassociative state and she is the one who has to take them out of it. And that if it is such an issue I should go get help... she even brought up because i said jokingly that i couldnt do lobster at dinner because itd make me too anxious cos there is too much to do with it ya know cos it's a lobster! Even though we have literally talked about how going shops on our own is anxiety driven! Anyway, I didn't reply, I had my grandma's funeral the next day and all i was trying to do is reset with her and I simply didn't know what to say to any of that.

She messaged me saying I hope the funeral went okay the next day. I replied saying the service was lovely, that was it. Then the day after I got the "are we still in a relationship because I'm not doing this shit" and went on about various things including the fact I didn't reply. Talked about how I don't communicate, ask for reassurances in the wrong way, think she has things with all her mates (all I ever asked was if she had a thing with ONE of them). Like I literally I kicked out my housemate because she made her uncomfortable and she wouldn't come over anymore because of her... thought I was doing the right thing and showing how much she meant to me. Anyway fell apart from here , within 2 weeks from our first real argument we broke up. She said she had no feelings and they wouldnt come back and that i didnt make her feel special the last few weeks. Week after the break up I got the "you didn't fight for me" and "you didn't show me why my feelings would come back" then that was it and we haven't spoken in nearly a month.