No more fire ants

I spent my first 40 years in Ohio. My paternal grandparents retired in Florida. As a child, every Christmas, I would eat tangelos, juice running down my chin, wishing I could live there. At 40 I got my wish, and moved my family to Florida.

I spent the next 21 years in Florida. When I moved there, it was a swing state, not a MAGA wonderland. Climate change hadn't caught up yet. By the time I moved to Jacksonville in 2014, the state was turning red and my climate zone went from 8 to 9 (the gardeners will understand).

Two of my three grown children had already decamped north to Boston. My third was unhappy in Florida, got a job in Hartford, bought a house. I sold mine, moved north and here we are.

What do I miss? Bountiful sunny days. While the climate is not foreign (the town I'm in is exactly the same latitude as the town I grew up in), the freeze is welcome.

Fire ants don't do well in a hard freeze. Warming weather means fire ants survive...and thrive. The little bastards are everywhere in the South.

I do not miss fire ants. I will never miss fire ants. Fire ants can freeze or burn however hell manifests. I don't care.

I'm working on my new yard. I'm working on standing water problems, leveling dips, etc. And I don't have to worry about fire ants.

If you're thinking about moving south, think about this. Fire ants are an inescapable problem in any southern yard. The little bastards have a mean bite that itches if you don't scratch it raw and even if you do scratch it raw, it still might form the tell-tale opaque pus-filled bite mark. I have scars from bites I could not help but scratch.

FUCK FIRE ANTS. SEND THE LITTLE BASTARDS TO THE FIRST RING OF HELL.

Thinking about moving south? Don't.

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