Miserable but trying to be grateful

I am 11 weeks into my second pregnancy. My first ended in a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks in March. I am trying to be grateful but have been beyond sick for the entire first trimester. My understanding is this might change in the next week or two and I really hope so.

I am still throwing up every day multiple times. I need a nap every day. I still can't stomach coffee, even in the amounts it's allowed. And my food aversions are horrible. I legit wish I had cravings (even weird ones) but it would at least make me want to eat something.

I am currently getting my PhD and sobbed to my advisor last night because I was in such a terrible and hormonal mood during/after class. I cried over chick fil a waffle fries today. I just feel like I can't/don't want to do anything despite typically loving my job and my work. Now I am just perpetually feeling miserable and like I can't move from the bed or bathroom.

But I'm also freaking out about wanting to stay positive and feel like I'm grateful for this pregnancy. I never got to get past this stage with my first pregnancy and this baby is so so loved and wanted. I just feel like everything is impossible and now I'm back in the terrible space of feeling guilty for not just being happy and positive about the pregnancy and willing to just deal with the symptoms.