I don't understand the "family" mindset

Hi everyone

Personally, whether I like people or not, care about them (and what happens in their lives) or not, and want to spend time and interact with them or not, is entirely determined by personality compatibility (mostly interests, values, life priorities)

And for the record, people I feel compatible with are a small minority (a minority that doesn't include NTs, with maybe a very few exceptions).

And interacting with non-compatible people is a chore for me, a chore that I always avoid.

Being related by blood does NOT factor in the equation in any way.

But everyone else (except for some people, but ONLY because they have abusive or toxic families) seems to think that you have to care what's up in their lives, take time to see them or talk with them, maintain some contact... with your relatives "because it's family". Even if you would NEVER be friends with the same person if you weren't related, and you have nothing in common with them.

People will say stuff like "you only have one family, you shouldn't take it for granted" or "think about people who don't have family". Or "I HAVE to go to X's wedding because it's family", "family obligations", blah blah blah.

I truly don't get WHY people feel and act this way.

Also, my mum was shocked to learn that I prioritize friends over family.

The complete truth is that I prioritize friends over everyone else, be they complete strangers, or acquaintances (people I know but have no connection or personality compatibility with). And if I don't feel genuine friendship towards you, you won't be in my life, full stop.

Family members, for me, belong in acquaintances. They may not be strangers but they're on the same level. They may be mostly nice but I have no reason to give particular importance to them or to include them in my life.

Right now, my mum wants me to be there at a dinner with an uncle and cousin. Apparently my uncle was "disappointed to not see me last time". Why ??? We hadn't seen each other or kept in touch for 10 years before, we never were close even when we saw each other. And he doesn't know me (yes he knew kid me 20 years ago, but not adult me). So the only reason he wants me to be there is "because we're family".

And he's not the only one. Several relatives were like "We should stay in contact" after my dad's burial. Like, for starters we wouldn't "stay" in contact as we had no contact before the burial for 15 - 20 years. And even when I was a primary school kid and there were still regular family meetups, we never were close. So why suddenly want to get close now ?

Like, how about no ?