My (19F) boyfriend (23M) doesn’t understand that I was defending myself from a physical assault.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have pretty bad anger issues. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s been really bad recently. My ex boyfriend has been stalking me and my current boyfriend, threatening to kill us, and has even threatened to kill my mother. I’m afraid to sleep because of him, and haven’t slept in a few days. I also suffer from bulimia, which has been in overdrive these last few days for the same reason. So, no sleep, constantly vomiting, and death threats from my ex who knows where I live. I’m not saying any of this excuses my explosion, but it explains how I got to a breaking point so easily.

There’s this one woman (23-24) I think at my job who is always a huge bitch to me. She constantly tells me I’m doing my job wrong, yells at me in front of customers, spreads gossip and rumors about me, etc. I am so sick to death of her, and usually I let negative emotions build up until they explode when someone provokes me. I have a history of outbursts, which tend to surprise people because I normally have a calm disposition, but it got me in trouble in school a lot. I think it stems from constantly being bullied at school, and realizing that the only way to get people to stop was through force. Anyway, she was on my ass yesterday morning telling me about everything I was doing wrong with a customer IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMER, and when the customer left, I followed her into the back (where there were a bunch of other employees) and finally told her that I don’t appreciate the way she chewed my ass in front of the customer.

She exploded, saying that she has seniority or some crap. I called her a self-righteous bitch, and she poked me in the shoulder and said something about looking in a mirror. Since she’d physically assaulted me, and I was at my breaking point, I grabbed her by the hair and slammed her face into the wall. I wanted to beat the shit out of her, but two other people pulled me off of her. She was fake crying, and a few managers came running in. One of them told me I needed to leave. I called my boyfriend, told him what happened, and he is so pissed off at me. He told me that I probably don’t have a job anymore, and may even have to face legal consequences. When he got home, he told me that I need to be prepared for the police to come, and told me that I really need to find a way to get into therapy. He said that my anger is going to get me in jail at some point.

I’m not proud of it but she did provoke me, and I was defending myself. I need my boyfriend to understand my view?