I’ve stolen $500+ worth of merchandise this month and it’s not enough to make me happy yet

Mostly cosmetics, fragrance, accessories. Maybe this past year, totaled up, at least a grand or so of items. I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, I’m not in love, it’s one of the few things that bring me a rush similar to that feeling. It never feels enough though.

All these objects, if they were gifted to me by him, would mean everything, but my themselves, they have no value. I don’t see a purpose to paying anymore.