im such a non-whole person and i hate it, how do i get better?

hey guys. im not really good at writing these kinds of posts but ive been seriously seriously struggling with my self esteem lately.

i was homeschooled for a lot of my developmental years, and during those years i never got out very much. sometimes less than 5 times a year. this has taken an extreme toll on my social skills, and i don't really know how to recover them.

for starters, i picked up a whole lot of annoying habits from my mom, i think. to name a few of these things, she had this habit where she'd say something and when she didn't get a response, she'd keep tacking onto it over the course of a few minutes, even when it wasn't necessary. i unfortunately picked this habit up and it makes me wanna die lol, so how do i learn to be more succinct, and finish what i wanna say without being obnoxious about it?

i also picked up from her a habit where i respond to... too much. like someone can just make a basic observation or be talking out loud to themselves (usually just among friends when we're playing games or something) and i always have something REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING TO SAY BACK. the problem is, i don't really know where to draw the line between being too quiet and responding to the right things. i also wanna not be annoying when i respond at all.

im also a super uncultured person, people make references to things i just simply don't understand because i was sheltered so much and i just feel kinda like.. i don't really belong in a lot of social interactions. something about that always sucks but i don't know how to expose myself to more things because i don't really know what's like.. popular. because i was homeschooled for so long. i also don't have a job yet (hopefully soon??) so i still don't get into public very much and get the chance to be exposed to a large amount of people and viewpoints and etc outside of the internet.

another thing about myself that i really really hate is just... how simply annoying i am. i never know what to say. i try my best and sometimes i do okay but a large portion of the time i kinda just flop and make myself more unlikeable. i don't like being annoying, but i really don't wanna be boring. ive just been shutting down a lot more because im realizing these flaws in myself but they feel so engrained within me that breaking them is really hard. im currently staying at a friend's house because shit hit the fan back at home and socialization is just kinda a fact of life right now but im REALLY BAD AT IT !! and even my friend is realizing he has problems with me.

i guess all of this to say, how do i develop an actual likeable personality when my options to exist outside of the house are limited, and most of my socialization is with someone who i try too hard to be better for? i know the solution here is maybe to stop trying so hard but i just can't because im really anxious and it always makes my bigger flaws come out in full force. i really really fucking hate being the way i am, if anyone has any advice id greatly appreciate it. thanks for reading if you got this far.