How to reduce trauma for my child?

Hello!

Tbh, my wife (they/she) and I (they/them) didn’t think to check Reddit (or other spaces) for communities for DCP and instead we made our choices regarding a sperm donor entirely on what we would want for our child if we were them. So I apologize in advance if we made poor choices; neither of us realized that being a DCP can lead to trauma. (I stumbled onto r/donorconceived via it being linked in a thread I was reading and equally stumbled upon this community whenever reading there.)

Our child was conceived via reciprocal IVF; my wife’s embryo gestating in me. Originally this wasn’t our plan, but…here we are.

My wife is CMV negative and is a carrier for a few life threatening genetic diseases, so our pool of donors was limited. We didn’t want to intentionally have a child knowing they could have a severe and deadly illness from conception. It just seems unethical to knowingly create that situation.

We also decided that our donor should be able to be found by our child whenever they come of age so we chose a non-anonymous donor. We originally asked my brother and cousin, but they were not willing to do that so we moved on to non related donors. (My only options were these two as there are few men still living in my family.)

We plan on always being forthright with our child about them being from donor sperm, and that if they want to find their donor they can at 18. We also have saved all the pictures and other information given by the sperm bank on this donor, including adult pictures, just in case.

The donor is from a similar racial background as I am and physically looks like me, however unlike me they are 1/2 Latino and were raised within that culture, while I have Latino ancestors, but no cultural ties (my family swears everyone is white). Because of the requirements for CMV and genetic illnesses, we only had about 5-6 donors per site, checked about 5-8 sites total, and this man was the most suitable. We also intend our child to always be aware of this link and have reached out to our biracial friends prior to purchasing sperm about challenges and best navigating this as parents.

Basically just wanting to know if there’s anything we’ve forgotten or missed by ignorance that could hurt our kid as they grow up. We’re trying to raise them as least traumatized as possible. 😅 So suggestions, particularly from DCP would be helpful and welcomed!!