[1365] The Bricklayers, Chapter 1 (edited)

Hello again!

Thank you for all the advice so far. It’s improved my writing immeasurably. I’m still working on how to fully set up a scene for fiction writing and would love feedback on my edited opening chapter here.

Edited to add: The book summary will make it clear that most of the story takes place in a commune in Vermont.

- Can you picture the scene?

- Do the characters feel real? Authentic to the era?

- MOST IMPORTANT- would you keep reading?

My story

My crit