[2486] Pearl of the Orient - Book I, Chapter I

Hello there, Filipino writer from the Philippines trying to write a novel about Filipino history and mythology.

Synopsis:

(No need to critique this brief synopsis. It's just to let you know what it's about.)

Lapulapu, datu of Opong, is set to be married to Alunsina, the princess of the engkantos (guardians of nature), causing a rift in the chiefdoms of Central Kabisay-an. Ikapati, queen of the engkantos, initially promised her daughter's hand to Humabon, the rajah of Sugbo. But the plague of the aswangs, the archrivals of the engkantos, the human criminals cursed into beasts by the previous king of engkantos, has convinced Ikapati to switch for the safety of her only child to Opong, where aswangs have reportedly vanished. Humabon is inconsolable, viciously spreading rumors that Lapulapu himself is hiding aswangs in human forms. Mayari, Lapulapu's first wife, disapproves of his second wife, believing it will expose them to danger. But is it out of concern or perhaps jealousy since she will be relegated to the second wife once Alunsina enters the marriage? Or is it something more sinister?

Unbeknownst to all of them, far out in Spain, Magellan has set sail to find a westward route towards the Spice Islands, likely making a stop at the Kabisay-an, threatening to shake their tribal politics and upend the fate of their archipelago.

Genre: Historical fantasy, epic fantasy, folklore

Word count: 2486

Type of feedback desired: I'm now starting to edit for the second draft of my novel and I just want some general first impressions, if it's clear and interesting, if you think this has been well-edited already, if I should be confident in continuing to edit the succeeding chapters, etc. I am also looking to incorporate words from different languages from Spanish, Filipino, to Portuguese to immerse the reader more into the setting. But I want to know if you guys think I'm dumping too much too soon.

I'm more confident with the prologue set in Spain since I think readers are more familiar with that setting. I'm more concerned with this chapter since this is now the first chapter in the Philippines, introducing the setting, the magic, and the mythological creatures in one go. I want to know if it's understandable enough and if it makes you curious to learn more.

[2486] Pearl of the Orient - Book I, Chapter I

Thank you very much.

Here's the prologue if it interests you, but you don't necessarily need to read this to understand Chapter I.

[1425] Pearl of the Orient - Book I, Prologue

Critiques:

[1260] Chapter 1: The Teutoburg Forest

[1294] King Of Shadow and Demons - Prolouge
[1546] Codex -- Chapter 2 (continued)

[4100] All the critiques
[3911] Posts asking for critique