DAE Think About Starting Hands As Different Weapons?

I played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons before I played poker, and I will sometimes think of starting hands as different weapons. AA are rockets, obviously. I think of AK as a big battle axe---you have to swing it hard, and if it connects, you're doing damage. 88 are nunchaku. 33 are throwing stars. 2-4 suited is a poison vial. What would you add to the list?