I keep coming back to this sub because I don't have anywhere else to go.

Dday was back in 2015 but we just got divorced this year. Our marriage started with cheating and ended with cheating. In hindsight I also suspect there was some even when we were in "reconciliation". I have a terrible work/life balance as of 2021 and live away from family and childhood friends. My WS essentially moved on and found a new community for herself while we were still married and just used me for stability until the time was right to leave. I gave up every shared possession in the divorce just to keep our dog. He's the only thing in this world I love and I'm terrified because he likely only has a handful of years left in him. It makes me cry just to think about. My life circumstances have left me completely isolated with no one close enough to confide in. I know there are people who care about me but they have moved on with their lives as I have lived so far away for so long. I'm at the age now where it's so difficult to find knew friends or even another partner which is just exacerbated by my horrendous work schedule. I don't know what to do and thus find myself back here. I can't get over the effort and love I gave to someone who didn't feel the same way. I can't cope with my WS having an affair the entire time we were engaged and before we got married. How could someone do that? Have a secret relationship and then come to an alter and vow to be together forever? What was my WS thinking when she looked at me when we were experiencing what I thought were some of the best and most memorable moments of our life. Just to go back to her AP(s) behind my back. Most of which knew she was in a relationship. I can't get over the humiliation. I can't get over how much she said she loved me or how "great" I was less than a month before she asked me for a divorce over text.

I'm sorry for the grammer lacking long vent. I'm worried that when the inevitable day my dog passes, I'll be right behind him.