I (22F) think I want to break up with my (21M) boyfriend because of constant conflict, how do I approach this?

Hey Reddit, i'm coming to you (22F) for practical advice on whether it's time to end my relationship with (21M) boyfriend. For context, we've been dating for around 5 months, and have been sort of (?) living together for the past 2-3 months.

To start off, the relationship began with him approaching me. For some reason in my heart, I felt scared and worried that he'd turn out to be a narcissist/love bomber. The reason why I said this is because he asked me to be his gf within 2 weeks, and on our first date he kissed me without asking. It was my first kiss, and I was scared so I didnt say anything. But I brushed it off thinking that this kinda stuff is normal. Within 3 weeks of us being in a relationship, he said "I love you", and got me gifts. It was sweet, but my suspicions began to grow again.

Here's where it gets messy. The tense dynamic began when he was going to travel for a conference, and on the way, his ex girlfriend (who also has a boyfriend now) asked if he could visit. He told me about it and also clarified he won't go if i'm not comfortable. I expressed discomfort, but said i'm not going to stop him. Alright, no problem. However, as we've been living together more and more, I can't shake off the feeling that he keeps in touch with his exes. He claims that he keeps good relations with everyone, and leaves his exes on read sometimes as well when they reach out, and the messages don't seem incriminating, but it still makes me uncomfortable. Lately, he met his other ex fling at another event and they started texting again. When I went through his texts, I saw HE initiated the conversation first, with something along the lines of talking about some dumb Lego set, because they shared that interest. He was open with me then too that he met this ex fling at this event, that she knows about me and him dating, and there's nothing more there.

Yesterday, he told me again that she texted him, but it was only about Legos and that he wants to be open with me. I asked him how many times she's texted him since they met, and he said "only once", which is strange because I saw HIM initiate that convo with her. Before anyone calls me jealous or possessive, I just want to ask, what is the need to rekindle and open a relationship/friendship with someone you had a past with? I don't do this. And I don't have an issue with any of his other female friends, but these 2 exes in specific piss me off. Especially when he congratulates them on their stupid Linkedin posts and talks to them. I feel angry and disrespected when he does this. He says he'll never cheat, but his reasoning is stupid. He says that he'll lose his reputation amongst his friends and cousins (who are also my close friends), but I think this is a very shallow reason to why someone shouldn't cheat.

Now, as for our living dynamic. This man DOES NOT clean up the way I need. He claims he's better than other guys and less messy but this is my apartment. I have to remind him to do the dishes, make the bed, unload the dishwasher if he's the first to get up, and clean up after himself, and it pisses me off that he doesn't think of this stuff on his own. I understand partners can't read your mind, but when i've gently communicated and requested, I don't think it's hard to follow, especially when I respect his rules about his pots and pans (THAT HE JUST BRINGS INTO MY APARTMENT NO WARNING). It's annoying, because when his friends want to come over, SUDDENLY he wants to clean. As if it's all a show for his friends. The worst part is my mom visits every week, and I have to rush to clean HIS shit and my shit so that she doesn't yell/judge me. I'm exhausted keeping the expectations of every side. It's even more annoying because most of our days are spent in him playing his stupid phone game, watching some overgrown adult twitch streamers, or just straight up sleeping/cooking. There is no effort to actually spend time with me.

Another thing is he's a shitty texter. That's fine with me, because I get we're both busy, and he calls in the night time, but most of our calls are him just talking about work, or silence because he's probably playing his phone game. IN the beginning, we used to talk a lot, play games, and actually enjoy each other's company. Now it's just mundane and routine-based. Not to mention that when I call/text him, there's at least a 8-12 hour delay with dry-ass texts, but if I don't respond within 30m - 1 hour, i'm getting bombarded with "are you asleep", "hello?", "<my name>" texts.

And then for his personality. This man stopped putting effort into dates, always talks about how "expensive" everything is, and won't shut up about money. Don't get me wrong, it's good to be financially conscious, but I think it's in incredibly poor taste to obsess over prices, when you're buying literal shit off of the TikTok shop that doesn't even serve your purpose or help you. We're both also in tech, so he never shuts up about work. I've been working on a project in school, and he kept insisting he wants to help, and I said i'll ask him, but he kept pestering me. I eventually gave in, and he helped, but not without bombarding me on how "shitty the quality is" and how bad it is. Not to mention his help was practically useless and a waste of time to me. I ended up breaking down because of his harsh comments. I don't mind criticism, but it's not hard to be a little nicer. He claims he hates being a "yes-man" and he likes to be blunt.

As for mistakes he's made in the past. He used to frequently comment on how pretty he thought his celebrity crushes were, to the point where the comments were like "she's so fucking hot" and "she's perfect in any way". I told him it hurt me, and he said he respected my feelings and won't do it again (which he hasn't), so i'll give him some credit. However, I get pissed at him, because he claims he doesn't "worship celebrities", whenever I show him some random tiktok about some person he doesn't know. Bro, just say you don't know the person and move on. When I called him out on this, he said I was "mean and overreacting".

But yeah. The only reason why I feel like I don't want to leave is because it would ruin my existing friendships, and I do value when he gives me the love and emotional support I need. But that's it. I feel like this man is not a mental match, and I don't even want to try to change him because that shouldn't be my job. I believe every relationship requires compromise and understanding, which i'm willing to put in, but it can't be so lopsided with just me doing that. I guess I just need a very blunt and practical answer on whether i'm overreacting, correct, or how I should handle this now.

TLDR; boyfriend of 5 months - exes piss me off, the way he mansplains pisses me off, and his waning effort to keep our relationship exciting is heartbreaking. I don't even want to put in effort anymore, because I feel like my efforts will be forever one sided.