Does anyone else contradict themselves constantly?

Obligatory: I’m terrible at explaining myself so please ask for clarification.

I just wanted to know if I’m the only one who experiences this.

So Im not super sure if this makes sense but I constantly get strong urges to completely shut down when I’m overstimulated and anxious but there’s another part of me that gets anxious if I don’t respond to people. So the more I talk the more I get overwhelmed. Same thing with being touched kinda happens. I don’t like hugs or being touched most of the time but I feel a strong need for pressure when overstimulated so I just hug someone so I can get a brief level of comfort but at the same time it makes it worse.

I’m honestly needing some better ways of self regulation but am having a hard time.