[1120] Whispers of a Nation (excerpt)

Content warning: sexual references

This is an excerpt from my work-in-progress fantasy novel. I'm currently working on the second draft, and I've made some changes to one of the POV characters—but I'd like to get feedback on these changes before I commit to this new direction.

Please focus your feedback primarily on Sylvia as a character—anything you like, dislike, or think should be changed. Other comments regarding the setting, prose, etc. are of course welcome as well.

Thank you!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QggqLK6i2pgc8BeiRDs7om_AmZHesKCiwbA-tm448eM/edit?usp=sharing

Critique: [1180]