Crush on Roommate
I (20M) currently have a crush on my college roommate (19M) and I just want to be able to move on lol. So for context, I transferred into my current university this past fall and was randomly assigned a roommate. We got along pretty well, despite some obvious differences, but everything changed after he came out to me like the second week of school. I was completely shocked because he's quite masculine, but I thought it was cool that I had someone I could relate to as a roommate.
Fast forward a couple weeks and I can feel myself starting to have a crush on him. We both aren't the most extroverted people (I.E., we don't really party) so we're in our room together quite a bit. We watch a lot of tv shows and movies together, go a lot of places around town together, talk about random shit for hours at night, we're always making each other laugh, etc. Eventually I tried to get him to reveal his thoughts about me by asking him if he liked any of the guys on the floor, what he thought about some gay couples rooming together in the dorms, things along those lines. He always claimed that he didn't really see anything in any of the guys on the floor, nor would he want to because he would have to live with them regardless of the outcome of a potential relationship.
I find this notion completely valid, I'm not too fond of the idea of dating my roommate either. That being said, I don't think I've ever had a bond this deep before and he just seems to get me. To make matters even more complicated, he got a boyfriend back in November. He talks about him all the time and I can't help but feel a little jealous, despite being happy for him all the while. I also feel as though he gives mixed signals, though perhaps that could just be delusion speaking. For instance, on one occasion he mixed up our names, saying he went on a date with me instead of his bf, and when I gave him a weird look he corrected himself while blushing pretty hard. Or on some occasions we'll stare at each other for like 5 seconds in silence, but that could be just by accident.
Ultimately speaking, I don't want to ruin a rather happy relationship and I don't want to ruin a rather good living situation. I just want to get over this. I'm wondering if I should tell him about this to clear the air (if it isn't already obvious lol), maybe get some closure or have him distance himself a little bit? Or maybe I should just distance myself and hope the feelings fade? Also, he wants to live together next year lol, should I even entertain that? This is even interfering with my dating life rn with me often thinking about him while happily talking to various guys and girls. Please help!
TLDR; Have a crush on my roommate but I don't want to have one. Any suggestions?
Posted Jan 7, 2024, 7:13 AM UTC · locked