That was terrifying right?

Just reading a post here and I thought about my last drunk or bottom or really kind just the end times of my active use.

The realization booze as the make it feel ok button doesn’t work anymore. That you didn’t get to hide anymore. Not that I get sick when I drink. Not that if you keep it up you will die or lose a job or a relationship. If booze had keep up its end of the bargain I could of dealt with those things but drinking as the magic make it feel ok button was gone. I was drunk and still just scared and sad and angry that wasn’t the deal. The whole system was done like if booze couldn’t do it’s part that then I knew I couldn’t maintain the systems I needed to keep up to sill be drunk. It was done and I knew it.

That was the most frightening feeling ever right? Like thinking that I just flat out can’t be drunk they way I would like to be.

Like I 100 percent needed this experience to not die young and miserable but And I’m not asking for details but feel I alone and crazzy about this. I understand that we tend to focus more on the solution then just think about how bad the problem ways. Just That’s was terrible i and just want to say out load that it hurt and sometimes it’s still hurts and I would really like other people who understand that to hear me and tell me I’m not crazy.