Finally ended things.

I’ve only been talking to/seeing this guy for about 5 weeks and, quite frankly, after our very first date I KNEW he was not my person. But everyone kept telling me to give him another chance and, I actually almost didn’t. I sent him a message telling him our schedules were just too different (because they actually are) and maybe it’s just not the right time.

Then his response was so sweet and genuine, he asked should we still talk and be friends or cut off all contact??

And somehow, that flipped a switch in me and we ended up talking on the phone for 3 hours that night. Then 8 hours the next night. It felt like I was on cloud 9, getting to know each other and asking all the fun questions and the flirting was so intense.

Then we met up again for our second date and….. that’s when everything got real. This was the SECOND time I should’ve listened to my intuition and bailed. But still, I didn’t. We had sex and then he proceeded to tell me he was still in love with his ex and just trying to figure himself out. And ever since then it’s been a ROLLERCOASTER of emotions and bullshit and fuckery. I don’t know why I’ve stayed in contact with him for this long. He’s done nothing but hurt me and confuse me, while simultaneously somehow also being the sweetest, most emotional man I’ve ever met???

My last straw was when he came over to my house, and left after 3 hours because one of his best friends from high school (a female, of course) was having issues with her boyfriend and he needed to be the hero and go save her day. Before leaving he could obviously see that I was upset, and he tried reassuring me as much as he could and even told me it “wouldn’t be the first time” that he’s been too much for someone in the sense that he takes on everyone else’s problems so heavily.

That was one week ago. And our texts have slowly just gotten drier and drier towards each other and then he told me yesterday he was really stressed, so when I offered to lend an ear and he rejected that, I knew it was time to end things.

This was never meant to go anywhere in the first place. I should have listened to my FIRST instincts. It took A LOT for me to put myself back out there after being single for the past 2 years and healing from my abusive ex…. And this certainly has not helped me in the LEAST. If anything, I am now even more scared to get back out there, and I will not be again any time soon.

I feel so stupid.