My fucked up relationship with my body

A little summary first off: Married sept 2021, my naive self thinking we'd get pregnant quick said we would wait until September 2022 and just try but not really track anything so that was wildly unsuccessful. Started tracking and doing everything January 2023. Got my positive December 2023 and then all hell broke lose from there.

Prior to all this I had a fairly high sex drive. Around May 2022, sec became just a chore to be endured. It's nothing my husband was doing but all the negatives were getting to me and sex felt clinical and not anything to do for fun. Of course I pretended it was all well and fun just so we could keep trying. Didn't want that part to stop because I wanted a baby but I was 0% enjoying any of the aex. After my MMC, I'm just not even affectionate. I don't want to be held, touched, kissed nothing . I just want to be left alone. The thought of having sex ever again makes me want to hurl. But I want to start trying as soon as my cycle restarts. I am in no way mentally ready but I just want to move on.

Am I alone in all of this ?? Does your repulsion to sex go away ?? Will it ever be enjoyable ?