Need an Ordained Minister in a pinch

I am in a bit of a unique bind.
My parents and grandparents anniversary is and was February 17th.
I am having my wedding on the 18th this year (2024) but had originally planned to have my mom sign my license on the 17th as she's ordained online JUST to keep in time with the small tradition we've got going on here.

Heres my problem.
Today I realized that online ordained ministers are not legally recognized in NC anymore, even if ordained by ULC.
My OTHER problem is that the best friend we had to perform our ceremony during our actual celebration on the 18th is very ill and has been hospitalized for nine days and the prognosis is not at all good. He is ordained, but neither my Fiance or I know whether it is also an online deal or how he came to be how he is..
I have another friend from Chicago coming in and willing to perform my ceremony so thats fine
But for legalities sake I need SOMEONE to marry us Saturday.
It is not negotiable.

The OTHER weird and tricky parts:
My magistrates office in my county is only open M-F so they aren't an option.
I don't want someone to run through an entire thing just to sign a license.
I want short and sweet "do you promise to love and to cherish....say your I do's and go.
Literally a 5-10 minute thing and we get to move on with our day.
All because of an Anniversary date that means the whole world to me.