Feeling sick, sad alone and used

I've been sick for over a month now and I've been really struggling with taking care of myself, my house, and having enough energy to play with my toddler. I haven't had anyone to help me take care of my son and I've been so desperate for help. One day I had a break down and I told my son's father how much I was struggling and he told me he would help me if I had sex with him.

I knew it was a terrible idea but I was desperate for help and sad and lonely and so I agreed to it. It makes me sick to think about, but I put an end to that last week. Now he is refusing to help me and being so cold. I don't think he cares about me at all, I'm not sure if he ever did. I feel disgusted with myself and I'm not ok.

While he was getting what he wanted from me he acted kind and helped by taking my son more than he normally does so I could get a break and he helped make food for us and did the dishes, he rubbed my back and acted supportive. As soon as I told him I didn't want to continue having sex with him it's like a switch flipped and I'm not surprised but I'm so hurt.

I'm still really sick and this is so hard. I don't think he is capable of feeling empathy. I was doing so well before I got sick but I haven't felt this low for a long time. I just needed to vent, thanks for readijg if yoi got this far..