I want to drop out of one of the best colleges I had the opportunity to be accepted into

I just can’t do college anymore. I’m ONE semester in. My dream is to be a concept artist/game illustration stuff and I got into one of the highest ranked art universities in the country.

I live so far from my family and my pets and I am so alone. Video games are my only way to connect to my friends but I never have time to play because I am slaving over artwork that feels like it gets me nowhere. I am incapable of putting less than 110% of my energy into my schoolwork because I have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and none of my treatments have worked so far.

I struggle to make friends because I’m autistic and am extremely shy. I have none here. I know people are aware I have autism because of the way they treat me despite me never outright saying anything about it.

I just want to stay at home and teach myself what I want to learn. There’s a gazillion resources for me for FREE but I am too scared to throw away this opportunity at this college and disappoint my parents despite the toll it takes on my mental wellbeing.

Is this something I can really afford to do? Drop out and teach myself? Is that stupid?