Life is honestly so unfair

I lost my boyfriend (42M) on the 17th December 2023 around 1AM. Tragic accident. I (30F) was at work the whole day on the 16th, he left for his hometown on the 15th and we didn’t have time to text that evenings on the 16th - he was having dinner with his friends (we used to text each other all the time, hundreds of texts each day about the weather, about what we ate, screenshots of funny things). He didn’t even open my messages past 10.54pm. I should have called him. Why didn’t I call him? He was so excited for Christmas and time off work - he worked so hard all year, just got a new job in January 2023. We were supposed to spend our first Christmas together, we would always spend it apart with our families. We weren’t on best terms the past month or so but we were trying so hard to find a solution - I wish I had more time to show him how much I loved him. We met on a plane in August 2017, sat next to each other and the rest was history. How can life be so unfair? He had so much ahead of him. I don’t know life without him, I fell in love as soon as I met him. He was my soulmate. I have dreams about him every single night, only to wake up the next day and relive the nightmare of him being gone. I am still hoping it’s all a lie and keep checking the phone to see if he’s texted.

I miss my honey so much.