I hate my birthday. What should I do today?

I hate my birthday. I’m such a failure. I turned 29 years old today and have no friends and been single for 4+ years

I really want to be sober but I also do not. I have the longest period of sobriety right now I’ve had in years.

Yeah I know the usual thing is to take yourself out to a nice restaurant or museum but it’s hard when you’re mental health is suffering badly.

Any suggestions?