One of the reasons I hate my life so much currently (TW SA)

A lot has happened through my life and I have been attempting at healing for years, in therapy and in and out of hospitals and it’s been rough. On August 14th of last year I really wanted to end it all and so I overdosed on handfuls of medication before I started convulsing and feeling the worst sickening pains of my life. I had called EMS/911 at 6:06 pm for the overdose. The EMS later arrived and was incredibly rude to me, and refused to take me to the ambulance because they didn’t believe I was in ‘that bad’ of a state to not be able to walk myself to the ambulance. They took a whole 15-20 minutes trying to just get me to walk up, to stand up, after I was begging and pleading them to pick me up and take me, that my whole body was limp and I was fully incapable and didn’t want to die anymore. Even while this was going on another lady was yelling, talking about how I was doing this for attention, and even telling my sister why I was doing it for attention. They didn’t take me to the ambulance until I had fully passed out. They took me to an even father hospital than any ambulance had even taken me, which I don’t know if that’s too concerning or not. Even stranger, throughout my intervals of consciousness as I made it to the hospital, the EMS stayed in the hospital room with me, the blonde lady in a ponytail (the one who believed I was capable of walking to the ambulance myself) stayed especially by my side while I was in bed, she yelled at me repeatedly while I was in and out of consciousness. (The EMS wasn’t even supposed to be there, nor any experience where I had an EMS drop me off at the hospital they remained they) After I was hooked up with IV’s I was kept alone in the hospital room with just EMS and I woke up suddenly from the blonde EMS lady taking off the blanket from my legs (I believe the coldness of it woke me up) and she inserted her finger into my private, I rose my head up and immediately asked her “what the hell are you doing?” And she said “Precautions” and then continued to yell at me as I looked among the room, there was still 3 or 2 male police officers watching, I then passed out again. There was no nurse in the room at all, to my theory I think the nurses told the EMS to put scrubs onto me (I was fully naked besides a jacket) and the officers took advantage of that. I later on woke up and remembered what happened and I asked the nurse to check the camera so I’d know if I was hallucinating or not. She refused and said the camera footage cannot be reversed. All of this greatly disturbed my stay at the psych ward, I wouldn’t sleep, it was stuck on my mind and I couldn’t get the treatment there that I needed. The police won’t do anything about it, and no injury law firm wants to take my case. This happened in Nashville Tennessee, Metro. I believe they came from Station 37. I’ll forever hate them, and if I’m ever needing help for my own personal injuries I won’t ever fucking pick up my phone again. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD due to this incident and my healing process has failed. I hope all the officers that came that day burn in hell, even the ones who didn’t intervene and just watched. I’m planning to commit suicide at 3pm today. There is a heavy snow storm and I’m taking liquid medication so I’ll die faster. You can bet I will not be calling for help even if I feel extreme regret, I’ll die in peace knowing my body isn’t being touched or I’m not being screamed at. Farewell everybody.