CBD Drinks and being sober

Long time lurker, first time poster!

I really don't know where I am on my sober journey. I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic but I'm definitely a problem drinker, I lean on drink far more than what is healthy. I've had blackouts on nights out more than i can count, been the drunken fool at countless weddings. That's not great I know but I'm only human but I noticed I was drinking to blackout at home, I seemed to be constantly hungover, I kinda worked out in all of 2023 I probably had about 20 days sober and that was mostly because of illness. I was sneaking alcohol into the house, I would for example buy a box of ten cans but only take 4 in the house in my hands, i would put the other 6 in my work rucksack that i would drink when my wife went to bed and then i would put them at the bottom of the rubbish bin. I would wake up on a saturday morning with no money and spend the whole morning trying to think of something we need from the supermarket so when we are down there i can put some booze in the trolley and then make out I've forgotten my wallet so my wife would need to pay (and supply me with my much craved drink) I got to about the 28th December this Christmas and I just thought enough is enough.

I'm now 20 days sober and I don't know where I'm going. I'm telling everyone at work i'm doing 'dry January' but truth is i know this is more, this is me trying to take back control. Already at work the dry Januaryers are planning a night out Feb 1st and frankly I'm terrified of it, I know deep down if i drink that night I'm back to square one. I have a drinking problem and whilst i honestly believe I can get my drinking to a healthy state, I know i need a break, a long break to find my mind again, to rediscover just who i am without alcohol .

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Incredibly I have been out for a few meals in the last few weeks and drank non-Alcohol drinks and been ok, I think i can function fine but it's the late nights when I'm alone. This is clearly where my biggest problem with alcohol was, I sit in a dark room lit by tv screen and i need to get out of my mind, get a buzz on. The anxiety of these hours is the hardest. A friend recommended me CBD drinks and I gave them a try and I found myself feeling relaxed. But now i'm at this point where I'm sat thinking 'Is it safe to drink cbd every day?" or if drinking cbd everyday, am i just replacing one addiction for another? Is this a safe road to travel down?

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thanks for listening to my babbling