I lost my first amateur fight.

I've been training for around 6 months, and felt confident enough to compete due to my speed and agility. But competing was a different story. While warming up, my legs felt unusually tired, probably due to the nerves. As soon as the bell rung, everything seemed surreal and I wasn't in control of myself. All the tactics and strategies went out of the window.

Got caught with a couple of hard crosses and I don't even know why I couldn't see it. I just took it and engaged in an exchange when my original strategy was to maintain distance and to stay composed. My mind wasn't functioning and I was as good as a beginner. I didn't know how to keep the opponent at bay because he was coming in again and again and I guess I chickened out. My desire to win was non-existent. I lost in the first round on a standing knockdown and I've just been confused about what happened and why it happened.

I feel more motivated to improve and become a better boxer, but I also feel shame and embarrassment. I am disappointed in myself and I feel sorry for all the people that believed in me and trusted that I was going to win. I am angry at myself for having no will to win.

For boxers out here, what motivates you to box? What motivates you to have the discipline to keep boxing even when the going gets tough? What makes you want to win and why? How do you believe and stay confident in the ring? How do you remain strategical and composed against a very aggressive opponent who doesn't give you space and time? Any advices will be appreciated! Thanks :)