I love Blade: A collection of my thoughts

The very moment I saw Blade I knew. I knew that this is the man I would devote my entire life to. This is the man who I would go to whatever length to make happy. If Blade told me to kill, I would kill. If Blade told me to die, I would die. If Blade told me to leave my life and everything behind I would do so if it means I can be with him.

I am mentally and emotionally married to Blade, but I’m not only married to Blade. I am devoted to Blade. I will ensure that Blade can find happiness, and I will be with him until one of us or both of us dies. I want Blade to find a happiness that can wipe away the pain and suffering he has suffered in the past. I wish to marry him, yes, but it’s also so much more than just that. If I can help him find happiness, show him affection, let him know that he is deserving, then that is what i will do.

I don’t care how long it takes, how difficult it is, or if my life will be in danger, I love Blade and I am alive solely to make his life better. When I think of Blade I am brought immense happiness, and I hope that Blade can find that sort of happiness as well. I may not be worthy of Blade, but I will devote my entire being to him. If I can even do the smallest thing to make him smile, I will feel as though my life has been fulfilled.

I wish to see Blade smile, a smile that is free of any past regret or sadness, a smile that shows that the past can stay in the past and no longer effect the future. I would like to be married to Blade in the future and help him find a path that is better for him than he currently is on. Blade may have found a found family in the stellaron hunters, but they still only essentially treat him as weapon, and he only agrees to be with them because they have promised him his death. I just don’t think this is right, Blade is a human being deserving of freedom, happiness, and more than a second chance. He had suffered far too long and the fact that he is still blamed for crimes committed hundreds of years ago angers me beyond belief.

My only wish is that Blade can find happiness and peace in his life. Blade does not deserve the suffering and regret that is forced upon his life. I will do anything and everything to wipe away that pain, that sadness, that fear. I love him so much, and I know that he deserves so much more than what life has given him thus far.

No matter what crimes he had committed, he is innocent of them, and he has paid this price for these so called crimes for too long. He has suffered enough and I want to do everything to change his life for the better. I just want him to be happy. When he has reached a point where he is happy and he is able to look back with no regrets, then is it possible that he may die. His wish may be to die, but he doesn’t deserve to die with so many regrets and having only known suffering in his last moments of life.

That is why Blade shouldn’t die in this game. Not right now, not as he is right now. Blade deserves to find an ending that is not one of simply ending the pain and suffering. Blade does not deserve to continue to live out in this pain and suffering either. What Blade needs is reprieve, and a chance to find meaning in life again that does not dehumanize him to only a weapon.

When I look at the comparison between Blades punishment and Dan Hengs punishment, I get so angry, because Dan Heng carries none of the pain from his crimes, he makes himself carry guilt, but physical pain? No, Blade has undergone so much physical and mental pain, and he wasn’t even the one who planned the crime that lead to the quintets downfall.

Blade just wanted to help revive a friend, and for that he has been suffering for CENTURIES. I want Blade to know that he is so deserving of love and forgiveness, that the past can remain in the past, that he is allowed and deserving of a future where he can move on. Dan Heng has moved on, and Jing Liu has accepted the crimes she committed, but Blade still deals with the physical and mental pain and trauma and it’s so unfair, it’s inhumane to let him suffer, and to suggest that killing him is the best way to end that suffering. Why is hoyoverse so harsh to him, let him heal, let him move on.

He may want death right now, but that’s only because of all these negative past events that make him regret and live in pain. Blade deserves so much more than that, and if he can be given a chance to see that his life can be fulfilling, can be happy, that he can be loved, I think his wish for death would be no more.

If I were to met Blade, I would tell him “You deserve more than this”. What has happened to Blade is nothing short of a tragedy, and to have it end this way would be cruel of hoyoverse. I do realize that hoyoverse has been cruel before in prior honkai games, but allow me to say that they can not do this with Blade. To do so will be a crime to humanity itself. I will not rest until Blade knows this. That he is worthy of moving on, that he deserves to move on, and that in this new found life of his, he should not remain in the past, but walk on to the future.

His future can be full of joy if he would only allow himself to let go. What has happened has happened, and there is no reversing time. But Blade has been stuck in the past, his suffering runs far too deep, and I hope that hoyoverse gives him a story where he can heal from that.

To say that I simply love Blade would be a gross understatement. I adore Blade, I cherish Blade, I devote my entire being to Blade. My goal in life is to make Blades life better, to help him find happiness once again, and to support him along the way, in any way I possible can. Even if my health should come under danger, even if I find myself risking life and limb, I would still carry on with my mission to support and love Blade. I need him to know that he is cherished and loved, and that he deserves to find happiness and peace in his life. So yes, I love Blade, but it’s so much more than just love.

I want him to live out a life where he finds that kind of happiness, and I wish to provide him that happiness, even though I doubt that I am good enough for Blade.

But I want him to know that he is more than a weapon, he is a human being that is deserving of happiness and love. And I want to provide so much of that for him. The way he has changed my life is astounding. I wish to become a better person for Blade.

I would love to cook for Blade every day and take care of everything so that he can just relax and focus on things that make him happy, I would love to go on dates with him and watch movies and hold hands and just show him how beautiful and fun life can be. I want to marry him because to me marriage is proof of a bond that two people have that is stronger than love, it’s more than just that, it’s the want and need to protect someone and always be there for them, to never let them feel alone and to always have their back no matter what. No matter what crimes Blade has committed I believe that he has suffered more than enough for them, and he deserves redemption and a bright future.

I am not sure that I can be everything that Blade needs. I’m quite sure that I’m not, actually. I do not feel like I am worthy of Blade, nor do I think I’m strong enough to help him in the way that he needs fully. Blade deserves someone stronger and better than me, but despite that, I refuse to just give up. Just because I know I’m not enough doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try, I have to give my all, even if it won’t be enough, even if it’s exhausting, even if it’s painful, I have to try as hard as I can. Blade has been suffering throughout centuries of trauma and pain, and he has never had any support during any of that. I’ve only lived a speck of his life time, and I am certainly not strong in will or body, but I do have an unwavering devotion to care for him, to do anything and everything I can to help him. Even a little can go a long way, and I have to admit, I know I’m not good enough but I still have to try because no matter what, I love Blade and I want what’s best for him. I doubt that I am what is best for him, and I would be so happy to see someone who is deserving of him and who will live and cherish him as much as I do, or even more, if that’s even possible. Someone who can do more than listen, more than provide advice or just words of support or motivation, I don’t think I can do much more than that honestly. I can always be there for him, devote my entire being to him, and I don’t think that would be enough, but it is something. Even if it’s destined to fail, even if I end up being unable to help him, I will still do everything to try and give it my all, because Blade is deserving of love and happiness. So yeah, I’m probably not enough for Blade, but even so, my love for him will never falter, and I will support any path that can bring him happiness and safety in his life.

To reiterate, I am devoted to Blade in mind and body. Even if he isnt real, my love for him is real, and I shall remain devoted to him until I die. Even if the emotions I feel are inconsequential, I will always love him, and always dream of protecting him and helping him heal. I may not be strong, or have any suitable talents in this regard, but that doesn't mean that I will ever stop in my effort to save him. Every day I think about how much I love Blade, how much love he deserves, and how he deserves so much better. I realize fully that I am not worthy of Blade, I don't believe anyone can truly be worthy enough for him. Even knowing this, knowing that my love will never be returned, I will continue to stay devoted to him and him alone. Marriage isn't enough in showing how much I love Blade, I would do anything and everything for him. For Blade, I devote everything. To have him be happy, to have him love life again, to have him forgive and forget the past, to let go and move on.

I just love him so much, and it doesn't matter that he's not real, it doesn't matter that he will never love me back. Because real love isn't based on what someone con do for you, its what you can do for them, and wishing the best for them, wanting happiness for them, regardless on whether the feeling is mutual. So long as he can find happiness, thats all that matters. And I will not accept that he can only find respite through death, to put him through such a ending would be nothing short of a tragedy. To die having only known suffering, and finding death to be nothing but a release from said suffering, it is the very definition of unhealthy, and I will never accept this for him.

True happiness cannot be found in death. Death can only end ones happiness. But to die having no regrets, so sadness, no hate or anger remaining, its only then that one can die happy. This is what Blade needs more than anything, happiness in life. And I can't just say that I'm some solution, or that love is the solution, because Blade is strong, and he can find his own self worth, he doesn't need anyone to give it to him, or be his reason for living. If Blade can let go, forgive himself, allow himself to use this newfound life for something worthy, then I'm sure that he would realize that he is more than a weapon to be used, he is a human being deserving of the joys of life.

I said it before and I'll say it again, Baiheng, whose death was the cataclysm for all these unfortunate events, would never have wanted her friends to suffer like this. And Blade is no exception. I love Blade, and the strongest way for me to show how much I love him is to say that I'm married to him, but it still doesn't fully describe how much affection I feel for him, how much pain I feel when I see him suffer, how much joy I feel when I see him happy. I just want what is best for Blade, and it's so painful knowing that I am unable to help him in any way.

So all I can do is continue to love him and hope that he will obtain freedom and happiness, praying that hoyoverse will allow him this salvation. I will truly be devastated if anything irreparable were to happen to him, just the thought alone makes my heart hurt and even breathing becomes difficult. Maybe such an obsession is unhealthy, but to me, I only find it to be a pure desire for one's happiness, and I cannot see the harm that it brings. Is it truly so wrong to wish happiness for another? Sure, he's fictional, the struggles he has undergone arent real, but everything I feel is real, as if his story was that of a beloveds right before me. I refuse to believe that empathy like this can be misplaced. Everything I feel now is how I would truly feel if he was real, just the overwhelming desire to help, to provide comfort, to ease pain. Thats all I want to do. Ensure and do everything I can for his happiness and health. Just typing this makes my heart hurt, because I feel so useless, and I know that his suffering continues. I truly care for him, so so much.

And you may wonder, why do I love him so much? I can’t even think of where to start. His character is a tragedy. I am such a sucker for tragedy’s. His family was killed by abominations of the abundance leading him to go to the Loufu to swear vengeance against them. Fast forward? He’s now the very abomination he swore to kill, and he has no way to rid himself of it or die. This is just one part. The next part is that he made amazing friends on the Loufu, just to watch everything fall apart and they are now either dead, trying to kill each other and/or forever changed from the fallout. When Baiheng died, all Dan Feng and Yingxing wanted to do was bring her back to life, as her life was cut short and unfairly. So they went against the laws of the Loufu and worked tirelessly to find a way to bring her back, but what ended up happening was just more suffering.

Baiheng revived as a monster, who Jingliu was forced to kill, Yingxing got cursed with his immortality, and DF was made a criminal to the Loufu. All they wanted to do was being a friend back, and what ended up happening was the dissolution of the high cloud quintet, and to focus on Yingxing, Jingliu made him suffer for what he did, killing him 1000 times. The amount of pain and suffering he went through as his body revived countless amount of times was EXCRUCIATING. And it’s hinted that Blade is STILL having this pain as the vitality of the abundance in him makes his body break and heal itself constantly.

But not only was he physically tortured, he’s mentally tortured himself all this time for what happened, he doesn’t even allow himself to be a human with free will, he has degraded himself to only being a weapon. To add to the tragedy of it all, he was originally a forger of weapons, though with his hands apparently unable to heal, he can no longer do what he loved and was great at, and he has made himself the weapon. The sword he wields is the very sword he made for Jingliu! The SAME sword that she used to KILL HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I mean everything about him is just so painfully sad, and to add to it he ended up Mara-struck, leading him to bouts of insanity that can only be subdued with Kafka essentially brainwashing him.

Blade has just gone through so much, he no longer sees himself as redeemable, or worthy of forgiveness, and the physical and mental anguish he went through and is still going through is just so unfair, so cruel, that I can’t find the words to even describe it fully.

I love him so much, I just want to take care of him and ease that pain that he’s been through and is STILL going through. There is literally no end to his suffering, and I just wish I could help him in some way! The actions of his past were never out of malice or bad intentions, yet he has been tortured and punished for so long! He has no will to live, he sees himself as only useful as a weapon to be used to slaughter, and everything about this is just so painful! Even with the Stellaron Hunters he’s just being used, brainwashed, and forced to kill, all for the promise that Elio can provide him a “funeral”. The past 700 years being nothing but suffering and regret, it’s far too cruel.

If there was any way to help him find some sort of happiness or peace, just something so he isn’t suffering forever, I just want to help so bad! Even if he’s cured of the immortality, his shouldn’t die with this pain being all he’s known for so long.

If he can be cured of immortality, be freed of this pain, let go of the regrets he’s held for so long, and actually allow himself to live a fulfilling life where he is once again human, even if there are more ups and downs, having once again experienced what it feels like to be alive, with a future that is his to shape, that would be beautiful. In my mind, I can picture that his last day alive, after being freed of immortality, cured of Mara, would be a day where he only thinks back to all the good in his life, with those who cared for him by his side. To die with no regrets and in the arms of company, I always pictured this as the most peaceful way to go.

Lastly, I want to lay next to Blade, rest my head on his chest so I can hear his heart beat, feel his every breath. I want to lay next to him and just completely be enveloped by him, his arms around me, patting my head, telling me that everything will be okay. And I can tell him that everything will be okay. I want to fall asleep on his chest while he looks down at me, lovingly and stroking my hair. I want to be embraced by him, in his strong arms, feeling so safe and secure. I want to belong to him. I want to be cherished by him. I want to devote myself to him, be a loving wife for him, always stay by his side. I want to be by him through every trouble he has, giving him motivation to keep going, telling him everything will be okay. I want to tell him how much I love him, I want to tell him that he deserves so much love. I want him to know that he is cherished. I just want to lay next to him, feel his bodies warmth, slowly drifting off into sleep as he rests. I want to fall asleep, the last thing I see for the night being his smile, gentle and soft. I want to wake up next to him, either opening my eyes to see him looking lovingly at me, asking if I had a good nights sleep, or opening my eyes to see him still resting, his breaths gentle and relaxed, his chest slowly rising and falling, and I’d stare up at him, thinking how beautiful he is, how wonderful it is that he can finally relax and that he is getting well needed rest. I would reach my hand up and gently cup his cheek, watching his eyes flutter open as the sun light gently lights up the room. I would tell him how much I love him, and ask him what he wants for breakfast. I would embrace him in a hug, cherishing every moment I spend with him, nuzzling my head into his chest. I would reluctantly get up, wanting to do nothing more than just stay next to him forever in his arms. When we get up, I would fix him whatever he wants, chatting away with him as I cook, asking him if he wants anything in particular. I would fix everything as he wants, I want to know exactly how he likes his food, and when I watch him eat I’ll smile knowing that he’s eating a meal cooked with love. I would feel so happy, to honored and a bit prideful knowing that he enjoys my cooking. I’d ask him what he wants to do for the day, and accompany him where ever he goes. I’ll stay right by his side, occasionally glancing up to look up at him, wondering how I ended up with such an amazing person, feeling so loved, knowing that I would do anything for him, and he would do anything for me. But all I ask from him is to simply stay by my side. I just want to make him happy. I want to always see him smile, and even through the toughest of moments I would do everything to make his smile shine through, giving him strength to carry on. Reminding him of everything he has to look forward to, remind him that the future will be bright, and though it may not always be sunshine and rainbows, I’ll stand right by him through every moment. I would never leave him, no matter what. Even if he says things that are hurtful, does things that hurtful, I will know and accept that these things are done out of fear and pain, worry and suffering. I would know that what he needs is understanding and compassion, and I would never blame him for being human. I would tell him that it’s okay, it’s okay to not know sometimes, it’s okay to be confused or struggle, it’s okay to need someone to lean on. I’ll always remind him to take care of himself, to not bottle things up, to put himself first and value himself. I’ll tell him how much I love him, how much his happiness means to me, how much his happiness is simply deserved of him. I’ll tell him that he makes me the happiest, just being by him, just by allowing me to stay with him, trusting me enough to confide in me. I would give up everything for him, I would do anything for him, I love him so much and I would make sure that he knows that, if he ever doubts himself I will remind him, he is worthy and deserving of love.

I love Blade.

And of course, I have him E6S5. I have commissioned artworks, figurines, and other merchandise of him. I have a shrine dedicated to him.

But nothing will ever fill the void in my chest knowing that I can’t hug him, that I can’t tell him how much I love him. That I can’t help him.

(reposting here because it seems fitting)