am I ever gonna calm down?

I've been driving for idk how long, once a week since August, so somewhere around 32-36 hours of driving and I just can't drive without panicking sometimes and I keep doing stupid shit that makes me look like I've never driven a car in my life, I don't think I've had a single lesson where I got out the car and was not sweating

my mind is just so negative, everything stupid I do my inner voice is yelling at me for it

like if I forget to signal leaving a roundabout or just stall the car or hesitate and cause an issue all I hear in my head is "What the fuck are you doing idiot. you got no idea what you're doing, you should just not be using a car, Would you calm down and look at the Road Jackass" and it feels awful

It also doesn't help that I see crashed cars on lessons, have a lot of dreams about crashing a car and literally had someone I know, crash their car yesterday

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I don't know if I want to do this stuff anymore, any words of wisdom on when or if any of you had this, when did you calm down? I mean I'm like 36 hours in, I should be nearly finished by this point