Issues with productivity, procrastination and getting hard things done

Advice Wanted

Hi. I don't know if I have ADHD or if I'm just lazy, have a bad environment (designed to fail kind of thing) or I'm unmotivated... I am of course not expecting to get a "professional" opinion through the internet here, I know that takes hours with the right educated personnel, but I'm trying to get some unofficial opinions from people who might have similar experiences or think they know what this is about.

I'll try to make this short and concise while fitting all relevant information:

  • I was working full time up until bad economics lead to be being let go. Although I'm pretty sure my below average performance was the reason they chose me
    • I felt like working remote, alone, was very unmotivating, although I had productive and unproductive phases.
  • I'm currently a student and I've never done a mandatory exercise/handin until I absolutely have to, even how hard it feels like I'm trying to do so.
    • I've failed some courses due to this
    • I often get distracted in larger sense and "forget" that I'm a student and that I should prioritize studies instead of other things.
    • When I am a couple of hours before a handin and I need to work in high gear to have something to hand in, I get mad at myself for not doing it earlier and then I remind myself that I am a student and not a full time gamer/tinkerer... Then I lay plans for going physically to the uni to do work, but that never happens.
      • I made no friends in uni, only outside uni... I feel like this is a issue that leads me to naturally prioritize my current friends and gaming, and also my own side projects that I sometimes work on.
  • I'm a gamer, have been all my life, and I get quite addicted to games
    • I was really addicted to league of legends, but managed to quit
    • I often use gaming as procrastination instead of doing something productive like work on school stuff, work on my own side business, or work out. It's easier to load up a game instead of making myself do something productive
    • The latest years I found myself not that interested in games, but my friends are all gamers so that's basically all the social activity I have apart from the occasional weekend party
      • Oh and I 9/10 times drink way too much. I've heard people with ADHD may overdrink more often because it's stimulating.
  • Even though starting a task is difficult for me, once I've started I often get in a flow where it can get interesting and I get stuff done
    • The hardest part is definitely starting a task. If I get myself to start, it usually gets done.
  • If I'm into something, I'm really hyperfocused on it! I built a whole software based side project in a week, and have basically not updated it since because of lacking motivation even though I know I want to and should do so.
  • I've tried to sell my gaming PC in order to stop playing games and be more productive, but all my current friends are PC gamers so that lead to me getting a new one...

The question I'm trying to ask myself is this: is this normal behavior and I'm just lazy, or is this what unmedicated ADHD feels like?

Posted Mar 1, 2024, 4:30 PM UTC

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