I am manipulative

We have a guest staying with us for 4 days. She is an older family friend of my husband, basically an aunt, and though she is well-meaning and sweet, she is very talkative and for me she is socially draining.

Last night she brought up something in our city she would like to go see and I think it is a great plan. We can get out of the house and have something new to talk about. But it is also a bit pricey and I have seen it before so I also see it as a possible opportunity for me to hang back and recharge while she goes with my husband and his brother. Tomorrow I will be hanging out with her one-on-one while my husband works, and as I will be at the very end of my social battery at that point I am not looking forward to it. However, I don't know how to just come out and say that I would like to hang back because I feel like it would bum her out if I made her feel like she was draining my energy, and so I try to get out of it through manipulation.

I used to be a lot better at manipulating things to my liking, but it's harder when I have to silently coordinate with my husband. He almost never gets what strategy I'm on. Right now our baby is taking her first nap, which she always takes on me, and the plan is to go see the museum in-between her two naps. I've already got my makeup done so I will be "ready to go" when our baby wakes up, but I still have it in my mind that I want to skip. I did my makeup so that it would be more believable that I really was wanting to go with them, but suddenly I am a bit tired and you know what I might hang back. I don't want her to know that it has been my plan to hang back from the start. But I am realizing that by doing my makeup I've signed to my husband too that I actually do want to go, and he will be confused if I now say I'm not going and will inevitably make it more awkward. I don't mean to manipulate him too, but he won't get it at all if I say to him "I'm going to do my makeup so she thinks I want to go but really I don't want to go".

I guess the point of this post is me realizing that I try to go about things manipulatively, when I really need to be more direct. I need to learn that it's okay to just say I want to stay home and recharge. Before this realization I probably would have been frustrated with my husband for messing up my scheme, but really it's on me for trying to scheme in the first place. I hope I am able to learn to be more straightforward!