I just need to make sense of it all, and its all so weird

So ill keep this short and concise because if i went into the nitty gritty of it i will just come out of it a lot more confused and resentful. The main issue here is how i view my mom, not the best, not the worst person, its natural but her past actions just rub me the wrong way.

Excuse my terrible memory as well, it just got worse with time even if im still in my teens (17). The most vivid thing that i remember (even if a little embarrassing to talk about looking back) is her just coming into my space, without any warning and snuggling up to me (when i was passed tf out ie asleep), for the record i was maybe 13-15 at the time but im not sure. And it did happened again this month. When i was assertive about it, even offered to sleep on the floor for her sake she got upset, and did the thing where she cries over being told no. Dad told me to be more receptive of her feelingly but in the moment i just got really paranoid that nothing would change, saying things like "Things like this happened every month, why should i expect different?" "Why are you so caught up in finding the best in everything" the whole nine yards, and he's been trying to have the talk ever since, but im simply not having it due to how he tried to "help" me a while back. I genuinely have a suspicion that my mom has some kind of personality disorder, like what sane person would drag out an argument for 3 fucking days on and off?

Anyway yhea, the things with my mother keep happening and i have resorted to being an annoying little shit to get her to leave me alone. Like if she comes into my space she will have to deal with the insanity that goes on there, maybe thats a little narcissistic on my side but im not letting her touch me again and if it works it works, im not complaining.

My mom has such a strong grip on how i act, not consciously but unconsciously because every time she raises her voice or tears up i expect and brace for the worse. I am hella jumpy and she even looked at me weird when i couldn't suppress the urge to do the flinch thing. I mean is it that wrong that i want to react to her as quick as possible just to get things over with?

And it seems to keep happening, the last time my grandma wanted to share a bed (i will reiterate i am 17 she is 60 something) i got extremely agitated and almost teared up due to how my space got invaded again. And ever since 2020 im just a lot more easily agitated than i used to be.