Can you please help me find my Sexual orientation and identity ?

hi

please be kind with me

I'm a male who’s still a virgin and has never been in a relationship or close to any female ( except one). somewhat anti-social and prefer to be alone, I have very few real life friends , most of my friends are online. My first and only crush was on a female co-worker. We joined the company at the same time. I spend a lot of time with this girl both in and out of work .I used to have fantasies about her. I also had wet dreams about her. but she left the country

During covid ,I was working remotely from my apartment so I had a lot of free time.  While I was looking for some games, I noticed a word in a game title that I didn’t know what it meant. I tried that game and I liked it a lot. That game was ( Futanari on Male ) sex games.

After that, I could not get attracted to a normal female, only when I imagine her having a penis, normal sex porn does not get me in the mood. only when it’s a Futanari or Tranny on male.  I have read a lot of Futanari on male stories and comics.

I started having fantasies about my crush again, but this time she's been Futanari and she tops me. I even wrote my own stories about those. Most of my wet dreams are me being a bottom.

Then, I bought Women's Lingerie  and I started to wear them in secret and take pictures of myself with them, and then I got a dildo for my enjoyment.

After some hard times at work and in my personal life, I started seeing a psychologist, but when she asked me what is my Sexual orientation, I did know what to say so I said normal , there are more important thing to focus on and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing this with a female psychologist in the first session.

so, what am I'm ? I’m not attracted to men or women. I identify myself as male but I can not see myself tapping someone.

any kind words will be appreciated , thanks