is it unusual to take getting banned from a website this badly?

a while ago I got banned from an online forum (for reasons I will never explain). For quite a long time after this I felt a strong sense of having been rejected. I felt like I'd been branded an ass-hole by some high authority. I felt like every time I asked someone to trust me I was being dishonest. when I set up my reddit account like 8 months ago I genuinely had a thought that went something like "Oh god if only these people knew I'm a cunt, they'd never treat me like a regular person and give me an account"