Broke up with the most wonderful girl. Saddest I've ever been :(.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 months just now. I've always been a self-confident man and an empath but I feel sick like I know I've done something wrong.

She's graduating from an illustrious writing MFA program and is an excellent poet. I am an undergraduate engineering student at the same university. In four months, I move to france to continue my education at a great university in Lyon.

I thought that it would be easier if we broke up now instead of waiting until I virtually had to get to the airport. I was wrong. I'm crying now that she's left, she was crying while she was here. I want to just hold her and say I'll stay home - I'm crying while I writn this. Can someone tell me I did the right thing and it'll be ok. She was the closest person I've ever been to even if it wasnt perfect. I feel like I did her such an injustice why can't we just be together.

I'm going to smoke