[m19] Looking to lose virginity and/or get girlfriend.

starting with TL;DR: guy, not handsome or ugly, socially awkward around girls I like, looking to lose virginity and possibly get gf. Because when I start, I don't know how long I'm gonna ramble on.

Ok, let's get one thing straight, I'm not looking for redditors who want to have sex with me. (If there are any females willing, send me your CV with any recommendations and pics you might have, and I'll look it over.) I just get tired of my virginity, just hanging around, eating my doritos, not paying rent. Plus I'll be 20 come november and it is really embarrassing never having kissed a girl. I know, how people on here say "that you don't need to look for it", and "when the right person comes along it will happen" and all that sort of stuff, but I don't care about that. Around here it's really weird if you're a virgin at 16, let alone never even have kissed at 19, and I want to get it out of my system.

The thing is, girls are almost never really interested in me, and honestly I don't see why. No I'm not really good looking, I have a big scar on my mouth, and a slightly annoying voice. (I sound a bit like squidward.) yet, I'm not really ugly, I train a lot so I'm in good shape. I also go out to clubs and bars quite a lot, and there I'm that irritating guy who gets drunk, starts singing waay too loud, does seventies dance moves in the middle of the club, and plays air guitar with his leg on a table, until it breaks and he crashes face first on the bar. But seriously, I'm a nice guy, with a loyal group of friends, I know from reliable sources I can, at times, be really funny.

My problem is, I don't know how to act around girls I like. Either I freeze up, I try to keep a conversation going until I say something wildly inappropriate (I think poop jokes are hilarious), or when I want her attention, I start acting like a noisy jerk. Let me give you an example: I'm in a club, dancing, and I'm doing the shopping cart. A girl thinks it's really funny, she tries to make contact with me, I don't know what to do, so I just get away from her and ignore her for the rest of the evening.

Please don't think I'm putting sex on a pedestal or something, naturally as a single redditor I watch copious amounts of porn, and I know that porn has little to do with real sex, but I really want to want to experience how it feels. Also, I don't always have to feel awkward when people talk about having sex when I'm around.

I know that to most of you this will seem like one of those long and whiny posts, and I apologize for that, but I just wanted to throw it out here, and see what I'd get.

So feel free to direct your advice, tips, tricks, hints, directions to cheap brothels to me. Thanks in advance, for wasting your time reading this very long post.

ps: the reason I chose r/sex, and not for instance, r/askreddit is because people on here seem to have a more rational view of sex.