X-Post from (Psych/Phil) What is the intrinsic value of empathy?

Sorry messed up the title, its an x-post from /rasksocialscience

Having recently discovered this sub, I’m hoping someone here might be able to answer a question for me that none of my many mental health workers or friends have been able to. This question has ruffled a few feathers when I’ve asked people I know before so I shall use a throwaway.

**Tl;Dr for those lacking the time for the full post: **

I’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder that supposedly, and in my experience does, preclude feelings of empathy. Please explain logically, why empathy should be important to ME as an INDIVIDUAL, beyond simply faking it to get what I desire from others?

Some personal background:

I have, for some time now, been diagnosed as a sociopath/psychopath/someone who “suffers” from APD. (I place the quotes around suffers because not once have I personally discerned any problem from my personality/thought patterns) The actual definitions for the terms are so nebulous I figured I should list all, though the original term used by my psychologist was sociopath.

I am apparently somewhat atypical for someone with this diagnosis as I am not particularly prone to violence, deceit or crime; I simply am not bothered by the use of such methods when necessary or expedient. I live and act within societal norms as much as possible (why rock the boat if there’s nothing to be gained right?) yet in my head I am acutely aware that certain things I would be willing to do to others given appropriate circumstances seem utterly inconceivable to those around me, i.e. I lie quite easily, I don’t really mind hurting others or seeing them in pain, etc. It’s not particularly distressing to me, given that their hesitation doesn’t often affect me negatively (quite the opposite actually), but I do find it interesting on an intellectual level.

My question is this: What is the intrinsic value of empathy to a given individual?

I understand that society benefits from having empathetic people so the intrinsic value to society is apparent. I also fully understand that it is better for me to APPEAR empathetic (as well as kind, generous, etc.) because these traits are valued by those around me and as such are INSTRUMENTALLY valuable. However, it seems to me that some, perhaps even most, people actually believe that these traits are valuable in and of themselves. I don’t understand the rationale behind this at all and would really like to. I’m not sure that I’ll agree with it but I want to know a logical reason for this opinion. When I ask intelligent people around me familiar with my “condition” about why these things are valuable their response invariably falls back to “ they just are”. This strikes me as a very poor response, one that in other topics of debate these same people would ridicule as “stubborn” and “ignorant”.

Is there an argument that someone can explain to me or is this actually something that I will never be able to understand because of my “condition”. Again, condition is in quotes because my personality doesn’t seem like a disadvantage to me, in fact I see it as likely a huge factor behind the relatively impressive success I’ve had thus far in life. In person people often tell me that I come off as quite intelligent and fun and even that my “no nonsense attitude” makes me attractive (A phrase my friends like to use is “charming bastard”) I even have a high paying and exciting job so one can see why I don’t really think my personality is a problem or has impeded my success. However, if there really is a reason for this fundamental difference in opinion I feel it is important that I understand it.

Finally, my apologies if this isn’t the appropriate sub for this question, or if there is a specific protocol for cross-posting I missed. If either is the case I’d greatly appreciate a mod pointing me in the right direction before it is deleted.

Cheers