Relapse difference

Prefap: I started the nofap and it went great 7 days and the effect placebo or not was noticeable. I was getting stuff quicker, i felt happier, and most of all after a long time I was happy of who I am.

After fap: There was this sudden urge, and i started to edge. I just wanted to see whats new in the porn world, and the edge-ing which i said was not harmful led me to fapping. (next day) I feel depressed, dont like myself much today, think I look bad, unworthy, dumb. Trying to study nothing gets into my head. Things are feeling hopeless, No optimism at all. Im going to start again today is my first day again and Im going to try harder now to stop this addiction.