All I want for my birthday is my best friend back.

I was expecting to fall out of touch with people when I graduate. But not during my senior year. Everyone told me it would the best year. What a terrible lie.

I've lost so many people. So many friends. I've begun to hate everything about myself. I don't even know why anyone would want to be me friend sometimes.

I have 3 friends right now. But no friend I can be myself around. No friend I can depend on or trust with all the fucked up things that have happened to me.

I'm going to turn 18 in 13 days. And I'm terrified. I'm terrified I'll never have a close friend again. And to be honest, i don't want to find a close friend again.

I just want one.