So fucking sick of relapsing

I'm so sick if this shit. I can barely get 3 days without relapsing. And then it turns into a PMO bender before I pull myself out and try again. The problem is, every time it happens I get more and more doubtful that I'll ever beat this thing, to the point that I say to myself why even bother cuz you're just gonna fail again, you fucking failure. Damnit.