Was told I should tell my story.

I'll put it all out there since I've kept everything in for so long. I don't expect everyone to read this all the way through, but if you do, then I hope for your encouragement. I'm 26 and in a serious relationship, and have been for almost 3 years. I have been fapping since 8 or 9 with no P. before I could ever even ejac. My dad was very interested in computers when they first became popular, so there's always been one in the house. Needless to say, I was a smart enough kid to try to find it. It started out with pages from friend's parent's magazines and such. When the Internet became popular, I started chatting with girls, and looking at very introductory P. I continued to fap quite frequently. I was a chubby kid with self confidence issues, so getting girls' attention was a rarity. I have a "small" member too, which I believe played/plays a big role in my insecurity. [its 5" erect]. Even though I realize that that is not as bad as I've always thought it is, I still let it hold me down when it comes to being comfortable with myself. When the Internet grew and grew, and got faster and faster, I naturally got more and more interested and addicted. I honestly never saw it as an addiction until now. In high school, I eventually got interested in TV/TS material. It was few and far between at that point. I also got into yahoo chat. You could watch webcams and show yourself on there. Since I never had the courage to approach girls, i got my fix there. It started with girls, then I started looking at men with the camera on their crotch. Looking back, I think it was penis envy more than anything. My brain couldn't comprehend that at the time, so it got very confused. I had messed around with a friend when I was much much younger. [We just experimented with head.] I remembered that when going through this, so it just made it more confusing. [When I was 16, I experimented again with my cousin from Ireland.] [this time was oral and protected sex.] I'm not a religious person at all, but when I went outside to fap and finish, immediately afterward I went to bed, cried, and begged god for forgiveness. Not my style, but its all I knew to do. I had a few girlfriends for short periods of time through high school. Never anything serious. I did lose my V right before 16 with my first gf. Other than that, no sex till I was 18. You can imagine how much fapping went on those 9 or ten years.
I continued to watch TS/TV in college, and eventually [got seduced online by a guy on campus while I was vulnerable, and let him give me oral] I never got laid in college during my 2 semesters. Now that I was away from home, living in a dorm room, I had unlimited time for PMO. It happened a lot. My early 20's were a mixture of apartments, waiting tables, ecstasy, psychedelics, cocaine, Xanax, and a few girlfriends where we would have sex for a few months and then I'd get annoyed and break up. Every time... Also, I've been smoking cigarettes since 13, and weed since 15. I currently smoke both. Literally. I have a lit cigarette and a bowl in my lap. Haha After my drug phase I calmed down a lot, and started a decent job, joined a couple of bands, and relaxed a little. I've been a musician since I was 5. It's my strongest addiction. At 23, I met my girlfriend now, who is beautiful, intelligent, financially responsible and sound, and an amazing mother. I have been the stepdad of our daughter for 3.5 of her 4.5 years on this planet. Remember at 23, I've been fapping for 15 years. Our sex life was great at first. The first knock down gorgeous girl I've ever laid hands on. 115, 5'6" blonde, and lean. I couldn't believe it. Nowadays, I'm lucky to please her once every 2 weeks. In the last year though, [TS/TV, bi , and sometimes str8 guy gay P make up 80% of my fap material.][Ive always loved les foot P.] I think that's a true kink of mine. The scary part of this last year was getting hooked on Craigslist personals. Evil shit. [It started with thinking I wanted to try giving head again to see if I really like it] I would find people, set up a date, and chicken out every time. I ended up going through with it 3 times. About 6 months apart on the first two, and about 3 months on the second 2. [the first and 3rd time I actually went through and gave the men oral. I didn't finish them, and when they would finish me, ] I would immediately feel disgusting and scared and leave. [the second time, I let an older man give me oral,] and walked away with little guilt. Not sure why. I have finally had enough with my bullshit. I'm not going to let an evil empire of videos of naked people ruin my brain, and my life with my family. I hope this post didn't have too much graphic material or triggers. I deeply apologize if it did. I'm on day 6, and I started my counter on the first day i did NOT fap. Mark my words... I will not relapse! I will not let porn beat me! I will be an upstanding boyfriend and husband, and one hell of an example for my daughter! Thank you NoFap!!!