20 [f4r] Europe - Looking for someone different.

I don't know why I'm doing this. Perhaps I'm lonely. Perhaps I'm wondering if there's someone like me out there. Maybe I'm reaching out a hand..

I'm different yes. Mostly in good ways I hope. I like to consider myself as intelligent and creative. Sometimes I would even dare to say that I'm well read, and I'd like to write a book someday. I love watching films and spending the night letting them in under my skin, allowing me to experience new feelings and perspectives. I'm very emotional indeed, and sometimes I'm certain that I'm way too sensitive to live, but I never break. I'm very spontaneous, but I rarely follow my ideas. I have a dream of backpacking the world with no plan and no money, and I would like to follow that one someday.

I've been depressed and my life has slapped me in the face a few times. I still get depressed from time to time. I used to think I was bipolar but both my doctor and therapist said I'm fine, and that I'm just different. That I have a way of thinking they rarely see nowadays among people in my age. That I'm sometimes too aware of human beings, life, death and all the things in between. I can be quite funny and silly, but I need those deep discussions that almost give you anxiety. I need to sit in my car in the middle of the night and talk about things sometimes. I think too much yes.

What am I looking for? Anything. A friend, a best friend. Someone to love. I've never really been in love or been loved. I have this picture of what love should be like, but I've never really experienced it even if I've had relationsships. I want to connect with someone. I have people around me but no one really knows me. No one really cares, as long as they can use me for advice when they need it. I want to connect so bad. You can be anyone and live anywhere, as long as you feel we can share something.

Why would you even message me? I mean, I'm probably an emotional disaster that doesn't have a clue what I'm doing with anything. I'll probably intimidate you and confuse you. But, I may be the only one that can understand you. That can see your deeper and more emotional sides, and be able to appreciate you for who you really are. I may be the only one that will hold your hand and actually care.