Things are starting to really get better

I recently got a new job, which will be a lot more stable than the old one, and that's great. Meanwhile, I'm getting a new apartment which is going to be more expensive but better, and in a new area. I've also met some new friends and they seem to want to hang out with me, which is great too.

For the longest time, I've felt like my whole life was working for now, but wasn't really ever stable, and that's a tough thing to deal with. I had a job that was interesting and that I enjoyed, but it was on a contract basis, and I never knew if that contract was going to be renewed at the end of the month. I've lived in this apartment for a while, and since my job situation was so tentative, I didn't really feel comfortable moving. So it was kind of like my whole life was sort of on hold. It's a terrible feeling, even if you're doing ok financially for the moment.

The only thing is:

I'm still unable to think positively about my prospects in dating and romance. I know that I have good qualities to offer someone else. I don't doubt that if I were to really put myself out there in some way that I might be successful. I just feel like it's too hard. I have put up so many barriers. My whole feeling of confidence is based on my ability to keep it a secret that I'm a virgin. I meet someone I like and the idea of potentially letting her find out (not even because I tell her directly, but also in that she might discover it somehow) is just beyond me. I'm just so focused on keeping it a secret that I can't imagine letting someone in.